Week in review

I'll give you guys a really quick review, then I'll elaborate on a few things.

Monday: Spent the whole day cleaning the house with my mom
Tuesday: Showed the house to a potential roommate, then had community group
Wednesday: Met with Nicole
Thursday: Met with Kristin for the last time, showed the house to another potential roommate
Friday: Didn't do much, talked with a really good friend on the phone
Saturday: Cleaned the house, worked for a few hours
Sunday (Today): Church, went to a musical with my mom, my uncle set up the new digital cable in the house

Now to elaborate. My meeting with Nicole didn't go so well. It wasn't just that I was nervous, our personalities didn't really mesh at all. And her office is really small, so we were only sitting about a foot apart (if you know me, you know I don't usually sit that close to anyone, especially someone I don't know.) I'm giving her a second chance though, maybe I just got a bad first impression.

Although I am giving Nicole a second chance, I'm also going to meet with someone else this week (Nicole didn't have any openings.) Her name's Chalena. Her office is only as big as Nicole's, so that problem won't be solved, but Kristin thinks that maybe our personalities will mesh better.

Speaking of Kristin, I saw her for the last time on Thursday, and we sort of had a summary meeting. Going over where I started, what we've worked on, where I am now, and what she thinks I still need to work on. It's strange thinking that I won't be meeting with her anymore, I met with her for almost two and a half years. Hopefully it should be easier because no one will be able to contact her for 5 weeks, she won't even be answering her phone.

Today I got to go see Fiddler on the Roof at the Omaha Community Playhouse. My step-dad couldn't go, so he told my mom she should take me. The show was great, but my mom brought the Porsche and decided we had to put the top down. Because of this I'm sunburned on both arms (they don't match, one looks like a farmer's tan), and I just realized that I'm sunburned on part of one of my legs. I don't usually even put the windows down in my car, let alone have a top down. I loved the show, but the day is definitely hampered by the pain I'm in now.

Sorry, I can't think of a catchy name at the moment

Wow, a lot has happened in the last couple of days. I haven't been writing because I haven't had very much time alone.

First off, I met with Kristin on Wednesday and talked a little more about seeing someone else. She also said that next time we meet (which is my last time with her) she will give me a summary of some sort. When I left her, I had to go back to work, but on the way I got up enough courage to call Nicole Kai, the other counselor I had decided to meet. We played phone tag throughout Wednesday, and we finally got a chance to chat on the phone on Thursday. She sounds really nice. I was bold enough to even make an appointment with her for this coming Wednesday. Then I see Kristin for the last time on Thursday, so it should be an interesting week.

I'm amazed that I actually got up the courage to dial Nicole's number, let alone make an appointment with her. I realized though that there wasn't really any way that one of my friends could do it for me, as I don't really see them during the day when her office would have been open. I also am trying really hard to be more independent and rely less on my friends. I need to realize that I'm an adult and have to make my own decisions (even if I don't really like it.)

We had a really busy morning and early afternoon at work on Friday, and then it was really dead until 5, which is sort of annoying. I came home to find that my aunt had done a few more things in the house that no one really asked her to do, and frankly, I didn't want done. I know she means well, but I wish she would have asked first.

My aunt and uncle finally left Saturday afternoon, and one of my friends stayed with me for the weekend, so I still wasn't really alone. I didn't do a whole lot. She realized she probably won't be able to come down for my birthday in two weeks, so she wanted to get me my gift now. She remembered that I hadn't gotten the sixth Harry Potter movie yet, so we went and got that, then watched it last night.

Sunday School and church today, then I planned on practicing my guitar some, finishing my laundry, and maybe doing the dishes. It ended up that I've spent about the last 4 hours doing random cleaning/organizing projects around the house, and haven't gotten around to practicing. I only did this because I have a potential roomate coming by the house Tuesday evening, and my mom will be here cleaning tomorrow, and I feel bad when she does everything. Especially because then she gets mad at me for not doing anything (although it's hard to clean something when you have no idea what to do with it.)

Now I'm sitting here enjoying a bowl of cereal with actual skim milk! I know I shouldn't be drinking it, but my aunt and uncle left almost an entire gallon in the fridge, and I haven't had it in so long. I forgot how good it tastes. Oh well, I should probably go fold the three loads of clothes I did today, and then I should try to get some sleep.

Hope everyone is having a good Memorial Day weekend. Remember those who have served and are serving in our armed forces!

It's been a busy 24 hours

Last night I talked with one of my close friends for a couple hours about what's going on in my life. She helped me slow down and understand many of the thoughts that are racing through my head. She also helped me just by listening to me ramble on my feelings about Kristin and what's going to happen in my life in the next couple of months.

Today then I saw Kristin. She said that next time she sees me she will have a summary of me and what I still need to work on to give me. She also gave me the name of another woman she thought would be good for me to meet with. She thinks it would be a better fit for me than the names she gave me last week. This woman used to work in Kristin's office, so she knows her. She has also heard from multiple people that this woman counsels in the same manner as Kristin does, so if someone meshes well with Kristin, they will probably mesh will with her. This woman is also a very strong Christian woman, which is my main criteria when it comes to seeing someone. Strangely enough, this woman's name is also Nicole.

This might seem strange, especially if you know me, but as soon as she started telling me about this woman, I sort of felt a tug inside that said I'm supposed to talk to her. This seems crazy, I'm terrified to talk to someone else, but now I'm actually seriously considering it.

After last week, I wasn't really sure if I should talk to anyone of the people she gave me contact information for. She gave me three names. One of them I'm definitely not pursuing, a second one Kristin didn't seem too sure about and was hesitant to give me the name, and the third she thought might be a good fit, but she wasn't positive that I'd talk to her. She didn't even tell me whether or not she thought I should still see someone.

Now I don't know what to do. I don't want to do anything hasty, but I'm not sure if I should wait very long either. It may take awhile to be able to get an appointment with one of these people, and I don't want to get cold feet.

To go back to last night, well, I was finally able (with Crystal's help) to take a step towards God. I was able to pray and talk to him with her, and I felt a little sense of peace for the evening. Sadly it didn't last that long, but maybe if I can keep taking small steps towards him the feeling will last longer each time.

Any thoughts?