I once again this summer found out I'm horribly allergic to mosquito bites. I know that many people may say that, but I've had an actual doctor's diagnosis since I was probably 5. Sadly, I didn't remember that I'm supposed to take Benedryl allergy (or the off brand works too) at least once or twice a day, every day from about April, until about October. Which means that I have huge bites on my legs. I've been putting Benedryl cream on them, and they've started to go down a little, which is fine, except that sometimes when they start to shrink, then they get blistered and it's really painful.
I'm hoping to try and get an allergy shot and see if that fixes things so I don't have to take more pills every day, I take enough already.
Sorry for that, I'll let you get back to your regularly programmed lives now.
Monday, June 28, 2010
"Short" update
I know I haven't posted in awhile. I've been trying to think of what to say, and how to put things into words (which is not one of my strong points.) I guess I'll just try to update you on the last couple of weeks.
I found 2 roommates. Jillian and Ashley (no, not the Ashley that stays with me all the time, she lives in another town,) will be moving in on the 1st. I'm not sure what I think about it. It will be really weird having people in the house that aren't family. It seems that the closer it gets to the 1st, the worse I feel. I really didn't want my life to change this much this year, but I guess there's nothing I can do about it but trust God is in control (which is really, REALLY, hard to do.)
I know that this might make a few people mad, but I don't think I'm going to pursue meeting with anyone. At least not right now. I had planned on meeting with Chalena a second time, but then I got sick and had to cancel it. I called her 2 days later and left a message asking when she has some open appointments, and I haven't gotten a call back. That was about a week and a half ago. Maybe this is God's way of telling me to try to lean on him, and trust that he WILL take care of me, instead of believing that I need someone else to. I don't know. I know that I'm trying really hard though. I'm actually trying to read the many books I've had for the last year or two that I really wanted to get read.
Right now I'm going through "Your Own Jesus: A God Insistent on Making It Personal (here on referred to as YOJ)" by Casting Crown's lead singer Mark Hall. If you know me well, you will know that Casting Crowns is my favorite group (not singer, just group), so I was really excited when this book came out. It also has some parallel video blogs that Mark did and put on their website. The book tells you where to find them (called "Crowns' Camp"), and they are mini devotionals. Then Mark gives an assignment at the end of a verse, or passage to meditate on for that day. It's really cool.
I'm also planning on finally getting to "Abba's Child (later will probably be referred to as AC)" (Brittany let me borrow this one at least three years ago, possibly four), "A Hunger for God" (I really should get it returned to Ben, I've had it for months), and at the moment I can't remember the others, but I know there are at least two more, and I think maybe up to four or five more.
I'm also trying (though not succeeding) to write in my prayer journal more, or at least to stop and pray. I trust that God is changing my heart and drawing me closer to him, it's just taking longer than I wanted it to. Does that make any sense?
Alright, well, I should go today's verses in my one year Bible plan, then try to get some sleep. Thanks for reading.
I found 2 roommates. Jillian and Ashley (no, not the Ashley that stays with me all the time, she lives in another town,) will be moving in on the 1st. I'm not sure what I think about it. It will be really weird having people in the house that aren't family. It seems that the closer it gets to the 1st, the worse I feel. I really didn't want my life to change this much this year, but I guess there's nothing I can do about it but trust God is in control (which is really, REALLY, hard to do.)
I know that this might make a few people mad, but I don't think I'm going to pursue meeting with anyone. At least not right now. I had planned on meeting with Chalena a second time, but then I got sick and had to cancel it. I called her 2 days later and left a message asking when she has some open appointments, and I haven't gotten a call back. That was about a week and a half ago. Maybe this is God's way of telling me to try to lean on him, and trust that he WILL take care of me, instead of believing that I need someone else to. I don't know. I know that I'm trying really hard though. I'm actually trying to read the many books I've had for the last year or two that I really wanted to get read.
Right now I'm going through "Your Own Jesus: A God Insistent on Making It Personal (here on referred to as YOJ)" by Casting Crown's lead singer Mark Hall. If you know me well, you will know that Casting Crowns is my favorite group (not singer, just group), so I was really excited when this book came out. It also has some parallel video blogs that Mark did and put on their website. The book tells you where to find them (called "Crowns' Camp"), and they are mini devotionals. Then Mark gives an assignment at the end of a verse, or passage to meditate on for that day. It's really cool.
I'm also planning on finally getting to "Abba's Child (later will probably be referred to as AC)" (Brittany let me borrow this one at least three years ago, possibly four), "A Hunger for God" (I really should get it returned to Ben, I've had it for months), and at the moment I can't remember the others, but I know there are at least two more, and I think maybe up to four or five more.
I'm also trying (though not succeeding) to write in my prayer journal more, or at least to stop and pray. I trust that God is changing my heart and drawing me closer to him, it's just taking longer than I wanted it to. Does that make any sense?
Alright, well, I should go today's verses in my one year Bible plan, then try to get some sleep. Thanks for reading.
Monday, June 14, 2010
God is great, God is good...
Let us thank him for our...Life? I don't think that's the way that prayer goes, but we never said it when I was growing up, so I'm not positive. That's besides that point though. I think we should rewrite the prayer to say that, since that's how I'm feeling at the moment.
Yesterday I was able to have a wonderful birthday picnic dinner with friends from church. God showed me his overwhelming love through those wonderful people, and then kept showing it to me through another friend yesterday evening.
I was able to spend about an hour with a really good friend I hadn't seen in a year. She reminded me once again of something I've heard many times before, about how God is a loving father who will not break down doors and make us do what he wants us to do, but he will stand by patiently while we pout and throw our tantrums, and sooner or later we will hopefully turn back and do his will. Or something like that. Last night that actually got through my head, and I believe it. I went home, and spent the next hour crying and writing in my prayer journal for the first time in months.
I really think I should go back to trying to figure out this God as a father thing, it may become a breakthrough for me. I've been thinking back on the past year, and realized that my life has changed dramatically from where it was a year ago, even more dramatically from where it was two years ago. But I was reminded of one of the first truths I learned, as Gods' Word says in Romans 8:28 - "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose" (emphasis mine.) I'm trying to cling to this truth and hoping it will change my life.
Now, because it's me, there has to be something depressing in this post :P, so here it is. I don't think the enemy likes what happened yesterday, and now I'm sick. Sicker than I've been in a long while (but don't worry, it's not contagious.)
Thank you all for reading, and for sharing my life with me. Feel free to leave me your prayer requests, or e-mail them to me or call me with them if you would feel more comfortable (let me know if you need my e-mail and/or phone number.) I would love to be able to be in prayer for my brothers and sisters in Christ, especially now that I can truthfully say that I'm praying for people.
Yesterday I was able to have a wonderful birthday picnic dinner with friends from church. God showed me his overwhelming love through those wonderful people, and then kept showing it to me through another friend yesterday evening.
I was able to spend about an hour with a really good friend I hadn't seen in a year. She reminded me once again of something I've heard many times before, about how God is a loving father who will not break down doors and make us do what he wants us to do, but he will stand by patiently while we pout and throw our tantrums, and sooner or later we will hopefully turn back and do his will. Or something like that. Last night that actually got through my head, and I believe it. I went home, and spent the next hour crying and writing in my prayer journal for the first time in months.
I really think I should go back to trying to figure out this God as a father thing, it may become a breakthrough for me. I've been thinking back on the past year, and realized that my life has changed dramatically from where it was a year ago, even more dramatically from where it was two years ago. But I was reminded of one of the first truths I learned, as Gods' Word says in Romans 8:28 - "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose" (emphasis mine.) I'm trying to cling to this truth and hoping it will change my life.
Now, because it's me, there has to be something depressing in this post :P, so here it is. I don't think the enemy likes what happened yesterday, and now I'm sick. Sicker than I've been in a long while (but don't worry, it's not contagious.)
Thank you all for reading, and for sharing my life with me. Feel free to leave me your prayer requests, or e-mail them to me or call me with them if you would feel more comfortable (let me know if you need my e-mail and/or phone number.) I would love to be able to be in prayer for my brothers and sisters in Christ, especially now that I can truthfully say that I'm praying for people.
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Happy Birthday to Me
Today was my birthday. It made me realize just how many of my friends have moved in the last year. Last year on my birthday I had a group of people go out to dinner to celebrate, this year I set up an open house from 6-midnight at my place, and had 3 people show up, for an hour. I'm trying not to feel bitter, because I know of at least a few more who said they really wanted to come, they just already had other plans. It's just that this was the first "party" I've tried to have, and I made sure to stock up on pop, made little smokies, and made my mom's recipe of cheese dip, none of which I actually like. Now I have all this stuff and nothing to do with it. I even cleaned the house from top to bottom, I really wanted to show my friends that I'd grown up and can keep a house, but I didn't have the chance.
I had dinner with my family last night, and then spent the night at my mom's in Seward (it was weird staying there again, I haven't stayed a night their for almost 3 years.) It was good I guess, and then my mom and I sat up talking for about 3 hours. Somehow when she gets talking I start feeling guilty and end up spilling my guts to her and telling her everything about my life.
My dad called me today and talked to me for all of about 30 seconds, then said he was going to give my sister the phone because she was the one who wanted to call me anyway. I'm hoping that doesn't mean he didn't want to call me.
Tomorrow I have a picnic dinner planned. So far I've had one family say yes, and another say maybe, so hopefully I'll get to see people then.
Truthfully, I just feel very alone this birthday, and am glad it's over. Maybe it has something to do with Grandpa being gone, most likely it has a lot to do with Grandpa being gone, but somehow I really need to figure out how to get over that.
I'm sorry this post is so depressing, I just needed to put my thoughts down somewhere.
I had dinner with my family last night, and then spent the night at my mom's in Seward (it was weird staying there again, I haven't stayed a night their for almost 3 years.) It was good I guess, and then my mom and I sat up talking for about 3 hours. Somehow when she gets talking I start feeling guilty and end up spilling my guts to her and telling her everything about my life.
My dad called me today and talked to me for all of about 30 seconds, then said he was going to give my sister the phone because she was the one who wanted to call me anyway. I'm hoping that doesn't mean he didn't want to call me.
Tomorrow I have a picnic dinner planned. So far I've had one family say yes, and another say maybe, so hopefully I'll get to see people then.
Truthfully, I just feel very alone this birthday, and am glad it's over. Maybe it has something to do with Grandpa being gone, most likely it has a lot to do with Grandpa being gone, but somehow I really need to figure out how to get over that.
I'm sorry this post is so depressing, I just needed to put my thoughts down somewhere.
Sunday, June 6, 2010
My Birthday
My birthday is coming up on Saturday. I will be 22 years old. Truthfully, I'm not really looking forward to my birthday, since it will be the first one without Grandpa. I'm not liking the fact that life is going on, some days I just want to turn the clock back about two months and freeze it forever.
The day after my birthday is also the day of the 2-month anniversary of Grandpa's death.
I know this probably all sounds depressing, and I'm really sorry, but I needed to write it down.
My mom's been asking me what I want for my birthday. I've been thinking about it for a couple of weeks, and I finally realized that all I want is to spend time with good friends. Hopefully I can make this happen.
Thanks for listening.
The day after my birthday is also the day of the 2-month anniversary of Grandpa's death.
I know this probably all sounds depressing, and I'm really sorry, but I needed to write it down.
My mom's been asking me what I want for my birthday. I've been thinking about it for a couple of weeks, and I finally realized that all I want is to spend time with good friends. Hopefully I can make this happen.
Thanks for listening.
Week in review
I'll give you guys a really quick review, then I'll elaborate on a few things.
Monday: Spent the whole day cleaning the house with my mom
Tuesday: Showed the house to a potential roommate, then had community group
Wednesday: Met with Nicole
Thursday: Met with Kristin for the last time, showed the house to another potential roommate
Friday: Didn't do much, talked with a really good friend on the phone
Saturday: Cleaned the house, worked for a few hours
Sunday (Today): Church, went to a musical with my mom, my uncle set up the new digital cable in the house
Now to elaborate. My meeting with Nicole didn't go so well. It wasn't just that I was nervous, our personalities didn't really mesh at all. And her office is really small, so we were only sitting about a foot apart (if you know me, you know I don't usually sit that close to anyone, especially someone I don't know.) I'm giving her a second chance though, maybe I just got a bad first impression.
Although I am giving Nicole a second chance, I'm also going to meet with someone else this week (Nicole didn't have any openings.) Her name's Chalena. Her office is only as big as Nicole's, so that problem won't be solved, but Kristin thinks that maybe our personalities will mesh better.
Speaking of Kristin, I saw her for the last time on Thursday, and we sort of had a summary meeting. Going over where I started, what we've worked on, where I am now, and what she thinks I still need to work on. It's strange thinking that I won't be meeting with her anymore, I met with her for almost two and a half years. Hopefully it should be easier because no one will be able to contact her for 5 weeks, she won't even be answering her phone.
Today I got to go see Fiddler on the Roof at the Omaha Community Playhouse. My step-dad couldn't go, so he told my mom she should take me. The show was great, but my mom brought the Porsche and decided we had to put the top down. Because of this I'm sunburned on both arms (they don't match, one looks like a farmer's tan), and I just realized that I'm sunburned on part of one of my legs. I don't usually even put the windows down in my car, let alone have a top down. I loved the show, but the day is definitely hampered by the pain I'm in now.
Monday: Spent the whole day cleaning the house with my mom
Tuesday: Showed the house to a potential roommate, then had community group
Wednesday: Met with Nicole
Thursday: Met with Kristin for the last time, showed the house to another potential roommate
Friday: Didn't do much, talked with a really good friend on the phone
Saturday: Cleaned the house, worked for a few hours
Sunday (Today): Church, went to a musical with my mom, my uncle set up the new digital cable in the house
Now to elaborate. My meeting with Nicole didn't go so well. It wasn't just that I was nervous, our personalities didn't really mesh at all. And her office is really small, so we were only sitting about a foot apart (if you know me, you know I don't usually sit that close to anyone, especially someone I don't know.) I'm giving her a second chance though, maybe I just got a bad first impression.
Although I am giving Nicole a second chance, I'm also going to meet with someone else this week (Nicole didn't have any openings.) Her name's Chalena. Her office is only as big as Nicole's, so that problem won't be solved, but Kristin thinks that maybe our personalities will mesh better.
Speaking of Kristin, I saw her for the last time on Thursday, and we sort of had a summary meeting. Going over where I started, what we've worked on, where I am now, and what she thinks I still need to work on. It's strange thinking that I won't be meeting with her anymore, I met with her for almost two and a half years. Hopefully it should be easier because no one will be able to contact her for 5 weeks, she won't even be answering her phone.
Today I got to go see Fiddler on the Roof at the Omaha Community Playhouse. My step-dad couldn't go, so he told my mom she should take me. The show was great, but my mom brought the Porsche and decided we had to put the top down. Because of this I'm sunburned on both arms (they don't match, one looks like a farmer's tan), and I just realized that I'm sunburned on part of one of my legs. I don't usually even put the windows down in my car, let alone have a top down. I loved the show, but the day is definitely hampered by the pain I'm in now.
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